Heeeeeeey. :)
This is my Person Blog. Here I write the history I've had or the relationship I have with the people around me. I don't blog about random stuff and/or my rants here anymore. If you do want to know, feel free. That is, if you can. :) ClickSRMM
Friday, November 4, 2011 | 5:27 PM | 0 comments
Santiago, Ranie Rafael Murillo
3rd year, magkaklase tayo. Dito, naging close tayo. Para na kitang kapatid nun eh, I really enjoy being around. You're witty and smart with words and no matter what kind of mood a person has, you always manage to make them smile. Kaya siguro nagselos sayo dati si Michael kasi I was getting too attached to you. I knew I could like you at that time, pero I didn't because we both know how much I was in love with Michael. You were there from start to finish. :)
Summer came and you were there for me when my world fell apart. You were the one who caught me. Sabi ko sayo I'd wait for July 25 before I fix my attention towards you. Kasi alam ko sa sarili ko na hangga't hindi pa dumadaan yung araw na yun, aasa at aasa lang ako na babalik pa si Michael. Nung hindi na siya bumalik, that was when I realized na wala na talaga, na hindi na talaga siya babalik. Na kailangan ko ng mag-move on kasi hindi yun fair para sayo. But you waited, you were patient with me and my rants.
Things were better whenever I'm around you. I felt at peace, I felt whole, like I was never broken. You were slowly healing me and as you did, I felt myself, allowed myself to get close to you. I brought down my walls for you because I knew I could trust you. Your hand that would hold mine so dearly. How your eyes would look at me as if I'm the only thing that matter, as if I'm the only one you see. How your words always manage to make me smile, to make me have those butterflies flying around in my tummy.
We were happy. We had a lot of laughs, a lot of sharing, a lot of everything and I was really overwhelmed by it. Kaya siguro hindi ganun kadali sakin na mawala ka ng ganun-ganun nalang. I knew I had to fight for you, to fight for what we had and I did. You know I did, pero napahigpit ata masyado hawak ko sayo. I'm sorry, I got afraid of feeling lost and left behind that's why I held you as close as possible, kaya nasakal kita. I'm sorry if I overthink a lot, hindi ko lang talaga kasi alam gagawin ko pag hindi ako handa sa posibleng makakasakit sakin, kung pano ko haharapin yun pag dumating na. I'm sorry kung nadamay friendship niyo ni Margie, pati nadin yung friendship niyo nila Xander dahil kulang ka sa time sakanila. I'm sorry kung masyado akong naging selfish ako sayo, if I seemed like an obsessed, crazy, protective partner. Pinahalagahan lang talaga kita ng sobra. I got mad at first kasi hindi ko akalain na ganun ka kabilis susuko sakin when you told me you wouldn't. I expected a lot and that's my fault, pero I blamed it on you (sorry..). Pero ngayon, I really want to be friends again. Nanghihinayang kasi ako sa friendship natin. I wish na sana magkabati ulit tayo, magpansinan, maglokohan. Things were prettier that way. If you could find it in your heart to forgive me, please do. I really miss the kind of brother that I had. :)
Thank you sa lahat. Thank you for the wonderful memories kahit 2 months lang tayong nagkasama. Thank you kasi you taught me a lot of life's lessons by being there and by ending things with me. I hope you find contentment and happiness in whatever life brings as I am hoping for mine. I want to see your eyes shine again as you smile, not the mask you wear..
You were my favorite sanctuary.
