Heeeeeeey. :)
This is my Person Blog. Here I write the history I've had or the relationship I have with the people around me. I don't blog about random stuff and/or my rants here anymore. If you do want to know, feel free. That is, if you can. :) ClickMCDPDR
Thursday, November 3, 2011 | 10:23 PM | 0 comments
Michael Carlo Dela Peña Del Rosario
Your name still hits me like lighting. I remember seeing you during our Freshmen years, you were in Becchi. I didn’t even think I’d be close to you until Alyssa became your girlfriend. I didn’t feel right about things, something was really bothering me but I didn’t mind, it was your business and both of you were happy so I let you be. You texted me din because she gave my number to you. Then the next thing I knew, she broke up with you. Na you lied to her daw that’s why she broke up with you.
Sophomore years were easier. I knew you as the guy who likes Chelsea. Then I started to get close to you, I just can’t remember how. :)) Tapos ayun, when I shared things, problems, to you I started to get attached. Everything felt easy and right when I’m with you. When I heard you play those guitar strings, it started to make sense that you would be someone who’ll make a big impact in my life. And as you all know it, I liked you more than as a best friend. Remember those days when I said I’d stay away from you because I didn’t want to tolerate the feelings I had with you? I lied. That’s because I didn’t want to hurt the way I did with Ilao. But you stopped me, you didn’t want me to stay away from you kasi you said you needed your best friend. I stayed no matter how painful it was to see how fond you are of Chelsea/Louise. When I told you that I really had to stay away, you said it was not needed because you want me with you, that you wanted me close to you. I was happy with that because I felt special to you, I wanted you to like me back and at that moment, it felt real. After that, I started to pursue you, I started to try my best to have you and I did have you. That was on the 7th of April when you said, and I quote, “I love you na.:>”
I’ve had a lot of memories about you and I could go on and on about them, pero onti lang kayang ihold ng tumblr eh. :) Long story short, things were going well from April to August. Pero nung August 15, nagkaproblema tayo. We ended things off (I really can’t remember why pero I think it was because you got fed up with my jealousy), the MU thing we had. I asked you if there was nothing more I could do for you to stay, you said tama na, so I let you go. Nung 16th ng August, dismissal time, you caught me by my wrist and dragged me to the Canteen. We sat at our usual place then you asked me to listen to some songs, Say You Love Me by MYMP and Whatever It Takes by Lifehouse. After those songs, you saw your initials written on my palm, you held it and squeezed it. I felt both your love and anguish. That night, you texted me, asked me if it would be alright for you to take my time kasi may itatanung ka and I said yes. The following day, August 17, 2010 lunch time, we had this conversation:
IKAW: mahal mo ba ko?
AKO: *nod* IKAW: mahal mo ba ko?
AKO: oo. IKAW: mahal ba kita?
AKO: bakit sakin mo—
IKAW: mahal ba kita?
AKO: yes?
IKAW: bakit?
AKO: kasi.. alam kong hindi ganun kadaling kalimutan lahat ng nangyari.
*silence*
IKAW: mahal mo ba ko?
AKO: oo.
IKAW: edi tayo na?
AKO: HA? WAIT! ANO ‘TO?!
IKAW: ano ba yan! ano nga? tayo na?
AKO: *nod*
Being your girlfriend wasn’t hard. It felt right, it felt proper. Madaming problema pero giving up wasn’t really an option kahit ilang beses ko siyang nabanggit. I was just testing you, if you would stop me, if I was worth it for you to keep. And I guess I was. :) We had a lot of fun moments, none of them I’ve forgotten. I still keep them intact in my mind. Being with you, playing with you, sharing secrets with you, being myself when I’m with you, how complete I am when I’m with you, your hand that made mine seem so small whenever they're intertwined, everything. I’ve never been happiest. I thought, I wanted us to last longer. We reached our anniversary as MU and I was happy. I thought nothing could go wrong na, but I was wrong. That summer of April, unti-unti na kitang hindi nakakausap. Nawawala na yung effort mong kausapin ako, nawawala na yung pagpaparamdam mo sakin na mahal mo ko. Words aren’t enough lalo na’t malayo ka sakin.. I tested you yet again, and there I knew na wala na talaga.. Sobra kong nasaktan, I wanted you back, I did what I could to have you back pero ayaw mo na talaga. You meant more to me than you’ve ever known.
When I lost you, I still held you close to my heart. I hoped and I prayed that maybe, just maybe, you’d come back and realize that you still love me. But you didn’t, tas nalaman ko na crush mo na yung pinsan ni Gelo. How you talk about her, how much you’d give her what you can para maging close kayo. It hurts nung nalaman ko na you’d give her the San Francisco key chain your sister gave you in exchange for her baller. I wanted that pero you didn’t want me to have it kasi may sentimental value. And then after a few months, when the school year started, I found out you liked Chelsea again. Do you know how it pained me to know that? How I thought you used me, how it made me seem like some substitute? I cried hard that day. But I started to forget about that kasi alam kong hindi ka ganun. I believed in you and I still do kasi, I know you.
I waited for 3 months before I grab hold of Ranie. I respected what we had, I waited for you to come back but you didn’t. And letting go was the only choice I had. They told me stories on how you acted when you saw me with Ranie. At first, galit ka daw. You were always quiet. Then whenever you see us fight you’d say, “huy, tignan mo oh nag-aaway sila wala akong pakialam.” Hindi naman porke't nagkasomething kami ni Ranie ay niloko na kita. Alam mong nung tayo, ikaw lang talaga. Ranie knows that, he knows what I've been through, what I felt, how miserable I was. Nalaman ko din na nung nawala tayo, naconfirm ko actually, na hindi mo na talaga ko mahal. Na ako nalang pala talaga yung nakahawak satin. And yeah, You’ll forever be my What If.
Alam kong masaya ka na, and I really am happy for you. Na sana, she takes good care of you and realize that she really does deserve you, na you deserve each other. I just can't help but reminisce the moments I had with you because they were one of my happiest.
Songs:
Iris - Goo Goo Dolls
Power of Two - MYMP
Lucky - Jason Mraz ft. Colbie Caillat
Falling For You - Colbie Caillat
Say It Again - Marie Digby
Baby, Don’t Break My Heart Slow - MYMP
OMG - Usher
Beauty and Madness - MYMP
Your name still hits me like lighting. I remember seeing you during our Freshmen years, you were in Becchi. I didn’t even think I’d be close to you until Alyssa became your girlfriend. I didn’t feel right about things, something was really bothering me but I didn’t mind, it was your business and both of you were happy so I let you be. You texted me din because she gave my number to you. Then the next thing I knew, she broke up with you. Na you lied to her daw that’s why she broke up with you.
Sophomore years were easier. I knew you as the guy who likes Chelsea. Then I started to get close to you, I just can’t remember how. :)) Tapos ayun, when I shared things, problems, to you I started to get attached. Everything felt easy and right when I’m with you. When I heard you play those guitar strings, it started to make sense that you would be someone who’ll make a big impact in my life. And as you all know it, I liked you more than as a best friend. Remember those days when I said I’d stay away from you because I didn’t want to tolerate the feelings I had with you? I lied. That’s because I didn’t want to hurt the way I did with Ilao. But you stopped me, you didn’t want me to stay away from you kasi you said you needed your best friend. I stayed no matter how painful it was to see how fond you are of Chelsea/Louise. When I told you that I really had to stay away, you said it was not needed because you want me with you, that you wanted me close to you. I was happy with that because I felt special to you, I wanted you to like me back and at that moment, it felt real. After that, I started to pursue you, I started to try my best to have you and I did have you. That was on the 7th of April when you said, and I quote, “I love you na.:>”
I’ve had a lot of memories about you and I could go on and on about them, pero onti lang kayang ihold ng tumblr eh. :) Long story short, things were going well from April to August. Pero nung August 15, nagkaproblema tayo. We ended things off (I really can’t remember why pero I think it was because you got fed up with my jealousy), the MU thing we had. I asked you if there was nothing more I could do for you to stay, you said tama na, so I let you go. Nung 16th ng August, dismissal time, you caught me by my wrist and dragged me to the Canteen. We sat at our usual place then you asked me to listen to some songs, Say You Love Me by MYMP and Whatever It Takes by Lifehouse. After those songs, you saw your initials written on my palm, you held it and squeezed it. I felt both your love and anguish. That night, you texted me, asked me if it would be alright for you to take my time kasi may itatanung ka and I said yes. The following day, August 17, 2010 lunch time, we had this conversation:
IKAW: mahal mo ba ko?
AKO: *nod* IKAW: mahal mo ba ko?
AKO: oo. IKAW: mahal ba kita?
AKO: bakit sakin mo—
IKAW: mahal ba kita?
AKO: yes?
IKAW: bakit?
AKO: kasi.. alam kong hindi ganun kadaling kalimutan lahat ng nangyari.
*silence*
IKAW: mahal mo ba ko?
AKO: oo.
IKAW: edi tayo na?
AKO: HA? WAIT! ANO ‘TO?!
IKAW: ano ba yan! ano nga? tayo na?
AKO: *nod*
Being your girlfriend wasn’t hard. It felt right, it felt proper. Madaming problema pero giving up wasn’t really an option kahit ilang beses ko siyang nabanggit. I was just testing you, if you would stop me, if I was worth it for you to keep. And I guess I was. :) We had a lot of fun moments, none of them I’ve forgotten. I still keep them intact in my mind. Being with you, playing with you, sharing secrets with you, being myself when I’m with you, how complete I am when I’m with you, your hand that made mine seem so small whenever they're intertwined, everything. I’ve never been happiest. I thought, I wanted us to last longer. We reached our anniversary as MU and I was happy. I thought nothing could go wrong na, but I was wrong. That summer of April, unti-unti na kitang hindi nakakausap. Nawawala na yung effort mong kausapin ako, nawawala na yung pagpaparamdam mo sakin na mahal mo ko. Words aren’t enough lalo na’t malayo ka sakin.. I tested you yet again, and there I knew na wala na talaga.. Sobra kong nasaktan, I wanted you back, I did what I could to have you back pero ayaw mo na talaga. You meant more to me than you’ve ever known.
When I lost you, I still held you close to my heart. I hoped and I prayed that maybe, just maybe, you’d come back and realize that you still love me. But you didn’t, tas nalaman ko na crush mo na yung pinsan ni Gelo. How you talk about her, how much you’d give her what you can para maging close kayo. It hurts nung nalaman ko na you’d give her the San Francisco key chain your sister gave you in exchange for her baller. I wanted that pero you didn’t want me to have it kasi may sentimental value. And then after a few months, when the school year started, I found out you liked Chelsea again. Do you know how it pained me to know that? How I thought you used me, how it made me seem like some substitute? I cried hard that day. But I started to forget about that kasi alam kong hindi ka ganun. I believed in you and I still do kasi, I know you.
I waited for 3 months before I grab hold of Ranie. I respected what we had, I waited for you to come back but you didn’t. And letting go was the only choice I had. They told me stories on how you acted when you saw me with Ranie. At first, galit ka daw. You were always quiet. Then whenever you see us fight you’d say, “huy, tignan mo oh nag-aaway sila wala akong pakialam.” Hindi naman porke't nagkasomething kami ni Ranie ay niloko na kita. Alam mong nung tayo, ikaw lang talaga. Ranie knows that, he knows what I've been through, what I felt, how miserable I was. Nalaman ko din na nung nawala tayo, naconfirm ko actually, na hindi mo na talaga ko mahal. Na ako nalang pala talaga yung nakahawak satin. And yeah, You’ll forever be my What If.
Alam kong masaya ka na, and I really am happy for you. Na sana, she takes good care of you and realize that she really does deserve you, na you deserve each other. I just can't help but reminisce the moments I had with you because they were one of my happiest.
Songs:
Iris - Goo Goo Dolls
Power of Two - MYMP
Lucky - Jason Mraz ft. Colbie Caillat
Falling For You - Colbie Caillat
Say It Again - Marie Digby
Baby, Don’t Break My Heart Slow - MYMP
OMG - Usher
Beauty and Madness - MYMP
Whenever I see a picture of you smiling like this, a part of me wants to say, "It was hard getting this kind of smile out of him. I hope the next person who'll be with him takes care of it, especially his heart."
