Heeeeeeey. :)
This is my Person Blog. Here I write the history I've had or the relationship I have with the people around me. I don't blog about random stuff and/or my rants here anymore. If you do want to know, feel free. That is, if you can. :) ClickCDCJ
Sunday, November 6, 2011 | 12:31 PM | 0 comments
Chelsea Dione Concepcion Junio
I've known you since freshmen year. Yup, nakilala na kita noon palang kahit hindi kita kaklase. Dami na kasing nakapansin sa kagandahan mo noon palang. :P Kala ko dati snob ka at mataray tapos parang tahimik. Syempre, usual impression pag maganda is hindi ganun kaganda ugali. But don't worry, I was wrong. :)
Nung second year tayo, I got to know you through some old friends of mine, lalo na kay Michael. Eto din yung year kung saan naging kaclose kita, yung year na naging anak-anakan kita. :D Nandyan ka na sa tabi ko ever since. Pag kailangan ko ng tulong, lagi mo kong inoofferan ng help tapos I'd do the same for you. Marami din akong nalaman sayo, mas nakilala kita at naintindihan. Kapag nagkkwento rin ako sayo, hindi mo sinira tiwala ko.
Nung third year, medyo hindi tayo nakapag-usap. Ewan ko kung dahil sa hindi tayo magkaklase, or dahil sa naging kami ni Michael. Pinagselosan kasi kita that time eh, naging insecure ako sayo. Alam ko kasi kung gano ka head over heels sayo si Michael nung second year and I can't help but think na one day, baka marealize niya ulit na may gusto siya sayo tapos iwan niya ko. Pathetic ko 'no? Pero I'm sorry, nagmahal lang talaga. There were times din na maiinis ako sayo kase some rumor would get through me tapos un nadin yung magiging tingin ko sayo. I didn't want to kase deep down, alam kong kilala kita, pero dahil nga sa circumstances, naging makitid utak ko and I thought badly about you.
This year, naging kaklase kita. I really don't know how to act around you eh. Nahihiya ako na nasaktan na ewan. Nahihiya kasi, yun nga, kahit na alam mong nagalit ako sayo, you'd still be there to offer me help. Nasaktan kasi, ikaw nanaman yung crush niya pagkatapos ko. Don't worry, wala na yun. Tanggap ko na yun matagal na na ikaw talaga yung pinakaminahal niya. :) Meron ding nangyari na ang daming nagalit sayo dahil masyado kang nagiging close sa mga kapartner nila. I admit, I was a part of that. Pero it doesn't mean na I hated you. Like I said, deep down, alam kong kilala kita and I shouldn't think of you that way. Pero I did and I'm really sorry.
One time, I had a talk with some friends. Recently lang yun. Then I realized na I really did know you, naging clouded lang talaga yung paningin ko sayo dahil narin siguro sa mga rumors. I allowed myself to take in their opinions and make them true in my eyes. Na naligaw lang ng landas yung pagkakakilala ko sayo. Alam ko na talagang caring at loving ka lang talaga, na hindi ka ganung klaseng tao kase alam kong hindi mo magagawa yun. Makasakit pa nga lang ng tao, hindi na kaya ng konsensya mo, yun pa kayang iniisip nila sayo?
I'm truly sorry if I ever thought of you that way. I'm sorry if there were times na binackstab kita. I'm sorry if there were moments na I looked down on you when I really had no reason to. I'm sorry if I allowed those kind of information's to corrupt my mind. I'm sorry if I got insecure, I'm sorry I thought of you wrongly when all you ever did was care.
Thank you. Thank you so much for your kindness and care. Thank you for being patient and understanding with the people around you. Thank you for the strength you give me and words of wisdom that you say whenever I really need one. Thank you for the inspiration. :)
Gusto ko na malaman mo na kahit ganun yung nangyari, I'd still be here for you. Alam ko na baka mag-iba yung relationship natin, alam ko na baka pagkatapos mong basahin 'to (kung mabasa mo man) eh maiilang ka na sakin. Pero sana hindi. Gusto ko sana kasi na with those remaining 4 months, makabawi ako sayo kahit papaano. I know na I might've done things that could ruin your trust towards me, pero I do hope na kapag kailangan mo ng makakapitan, maalala mo ko. Na kahit ganun yung nangyari, I hope kahit onti lang, mapagkatiwalaan mo padin ako. And if you do I promise, I swear, that this time I'd take good care of it. Alam kong baka hindi mo paniwalaan 'to, pero I do hope you try. Sana magawa mong pagkatiwalaan ulit ako.
You've been through a lot and I'm very proud of you kasi you've gone through them with a smile on your face. You've been through them and you still stand so firm, like nothing has happened. Ang dami mo ng scars pero I hope you don't try to hide them because those are your greatest feature. Why? Kasi yan yung palatandaan na nakabangon ka, na okay ka, despite the things that happened to you before. That's the reason behind the current you.
Sana hindi mo, ever, alalahanin yung mga sinasabi ng tao tungkol sayo. Alam mong wala kang ginagawa, so dapat hindi mo sila iintindihin. Alam mong hindi ka dapat magpaapekto kasi hindi naman totoo. I hope na you'd continue being strong despite the things that life brings you. I hope na you take chances na, kasi that's where you'll find happiness. It may fail, it may hurt you, pero wag kang matatakot. Kasi it's either you find what you need there or you learn something from it and find yourself something better next time. You deserve to be happy, you deserve someone, you deserve to be understood and loved. I love you, I do. Ayokong mawala yung anak-anakan ko. I hope you find it in your heart to forgive me, I hope with this, mas maging malapit pa ko sayo imbis na mapalayo.
No matter what happens, be strong. You can get through anything, just believe in yourself.
